The Garden (of Delusion)

Damn you blizzard! This is what I get for WoW downtime. Usually I put these movies on, on the other screen and sort of glance over for the cool moments, or the tit shots or the fight scenes or whatever and just use them to help past the lack of background noise. But no. Blizzard has to make me pay attention to this shit completely....

Movie in question....The Garden.

Now, this movie does have one thing going for it. Lance Henriksen. Lance the man. Perhaps the most underrated actor of all time. Generally speaking, anything, and I mean anything with Lance fucking Henriksen in it, is worth one fucking watch. He has some all time classics like Pumpkinhead for example or Alien.

This however is not an all time classic.

It started off well. Slow... but well.

It opens more or less with a troubled boy, in a psychiatric hospital, being tested. He is cutting himself, and having horrible nightmares. The troubles are being expressed in his artwork, which has a dark and twisted nature to it. His parents are recently divorced, his dad recently sober, his mom well too expensive for the budget it seems, nowhere recently to be found. The dad takes him home from the hospital back to the farm in Oregon, for the last of his summer stay, when the boy has a delusion that cause the family suv to go flying over a cliff. Luckily they survive and are nursed to health by Satan.

Yes, Satan.

The devil himself, apparently lives in the same town as the dad. And he seems like a nice guy. In fact nothing makes you think this might in fact be the motherfucking devil, except for what clearly seems to be the psychiatric delusions of the 12 year old, until almost the very end of the film. Lance goes about his business in every way trying to help the boy recover from his psychiatric trauma, the father continue his recovery from bad marriage, even provides the father and son with a place to live, and gives the father a job, when the US Federal government condemns dads farm due to toxic pesticide cleanup being necessary, such a pesticide presence might actually explain why the boy is having delusions and seizures to begin with, but hey, somehow the movie has to have a twist right....

Well, can we lead into the twist, make it make sense?

Nah...

Why bother.

In the middle of the devil being a nice guy and everyone else being a douche bag, lets just let the devil come out and say sure, its all part of my plan.

And he still goes on being a nice guy to the father and son. We never know for sure if he really killed anyone? Why

BECAUSE WE SEE THEM ALL AT THE END OF THE FILM SEEMINGLY ALIVE. POSSIBLY BECAUSE THE DELUSIONAL 12 YEAR OLD IS HAVING ANOTHER DELUSION AFTER HE DROVE A SWORD INTO LANCE HENRIKSONS CHEST.

Yes, that's right.

Basically, short summary of this film...

Boy has delusion
Boy has delusion
Boy causes car accident
Devil nurses boy and dad back to health
Devil is a nice guy
Boy has delusion
Devil is a nice guy
Boy has delusion
Devil is a nice guy
Boy has delusion
Devil out of nowhere declares his evil plot but still goes on being a nice guy
Boy has delusion
Boy stabs Lance Henriksen in chest with Sword
Boy has delusion.

The end


I took one for the team. Don't watch this, I did. That's one more than enough.